Les Gets Drunk At Medda's
by FarTraveler
Summary: Les gets drunk at Medda's because of Blink. Racetrack is furious. Hilarity ensues! Please review! I need comments/critiques! This was a joint effort with the fabulous and creative Mackenna, but she doesn't have a fanfic account so we're posting it on mine


**Les gets drunk at Medda's **

**(IMPORTANT NOTE: I ADORE Blink, but he's just so easy to abuse!!!! I still LOVE him!!!!!!!!!!)**

Blink: *he and Les are out selling Papes* Hey, Les. It's hot. Let's take a break and head over to Medda's. I bet she's got something cool to drink.

*Les agrees enthusiastically. They go to Medda's where Blink buys them both some drink that Les cannot pronounce*

Les: *sniffing the drink* What is this stuff?

Blink: *Takes a deep swallow* The drink of the Gods. And all the Newsies. Think of it as a… initiation right so to speak.

Les: *looks skeptical but takes a drink anyways* Yum. This is good. *drains entire glass… and the four others that Blink buys him*

Les: **bleep** **bleep** **bleep** **bleep**

Racetrack: *walking into Medda's just in time to hear Les cussing* WHAT?!?!?! *punches Blink in the nose* You bastard!! What have you done?! *punches Blink in the stomach then picks up the screaming and cussing Les and leaves.*

On the way back to the Jacobs, right as he is passing the Newsies Lodging House, Racetrack runs into Sarah. Upon seeing Les, who has now passed out in Racetrack's arms, she jumps to conclusions and begins screaming at Racetrack. Racetrack attempts to defend himself but Sarah acts like a stupid girl and attempts to punch Racetrack. For a moment Racetrack is so stunned by her weakness he simply stands there. Inside the Newsies Lodging House Jack hears the commotion. He runs out into the streets and attempts to restrain Sarah. Sarah is screaming expletives at Racetrack. Jack punches Sarah in the cheek to get her to stop screaming. She turns to Jack, shocked and angry.

Sarah: How dare you hit me! You can't hit your girlfriend!

Jack: *snorts* Girlfriend? What gave you that idea?

Sarah: *momentarily forgetting Racetrack and Les* But… last night…

Jack: *laughs again* You believed that crap?

Sarah: But last week. The Brooklyn Bridge, behind the House, the rooftop—

Jack: *cuts her off* Exactly. You're just a body. *muttering* And not the best one, either.

Sarah runs off in tears. Jack takes Les from Racetrack and brings Les inside the House. Racetrack follows, explaining to Jack all that happened. Jack puts Les on his (Jack's) bunk.

Jack: We'll let him sleep it off here tonight.

*****THE NEXT MORNING*****

Les does not want to wake up but Jack forces him awake and he and Racetrack take him to the Jacob's apartment. On the way they think up some lousy cover story but are pleasantly surprised when Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs are out of town. Sarah has told David some BS story about how Les got drunk and Jack abused her and Racetrack does drugs. David, however, is skeptical of his sister's story and takes Jack aside for the real story. When the story is explained to him he yells at Sarah for lying to him.

David: You whore! *slaps Sarah* How dare you spread these lies!

Sarah: *sobs* David! You hurt meeee! You boys are going to push me to prostitution! *puts her hands on her hips*

Jack: That's all you're good for.

Sarah: *sobs louder* You hate MEEEEEEEEE! *runs out of the apartment*

Racetrack figures that now is as good as any time to seek revenge on Blink so he quietly slips out of the apartment.

Les: *wakes up… sort of* Ow…. My head!

David: No duh kid. I'll bet you've got the worst hang over.

Les: *bursts into tears* *but since he's little and cute Jack and David pitty him*

Jack: How do you get rid of hangovers……

David: I have no idea. I've never had one.

Jack: *mutters something under his breath* Well, surely SOMEONE in this apartment has… so *runs out of the room and begins banging on random door* HOW DO YOU GET RID OF HANGOVERS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Most people simply ignore him but one kind drunk opens his door.

Kind Drunk: Well, the best methods are drinking water, chicken soup, taking a shower, fruit juice, and bananas; that always helps me.

Jack: Thank you soo much. *runs back to the Jacob's apartment*

They attempt to do all five remedies to Les at the same time. Mixing water/fruit juice/bananas/chicken soup and forcing it down Les's sleepy throat while shoving him in the shower. After the shower Les looks green so they take him for a walk down to the Brooklyn Bridge where they run into Spot.

Spot: Hey Jackyboy. Where'd ya pick up tha sorry mess of a kid?

Les: "**beep** **beep** **beep** **beep**

Spot: *raises eyebrow* Woah kid, ya better watch that mouth of yours. Brooklyn don't take kindly to that sorta language.

David: *hids Les behind him* Now see her, Spot, he doesn't mean any of it. He's… he's sorta got a hangover and we gotta get rid of it before my folks come home.

Jack: *enthusiastic nodding*

Spot: *to Les* Have a good time kid? I hear Medda's stuff is pretty powerful.

Les: **bleep** **bleep** **bleep** **bleep**

Spot: *ruffles Les's hair and chuckles* Yeah, you'll make it.

Les: *passes out*

David: JACK!

Jack: God, I'm right here! *picks up Les and throws him over his shoulder* When do your folks get back?

David: Tonight.

Jack: We'll take him back to the Lodge, he can sleep or cuss or whatever he feels like doing until your folks get back. He should be fine then.

Spot: Have fun!

Jack, David, and Les leave

*****MEANWHILE*****

At the House Blink is sitting on his bunk nursing his wounds from Racetrack. Racetrack is leaning against Snipeshooter's bunk smiling smugly and keeps grinning evilly whenever Blink looks up at him. Racetrack whips out his amazing harmonica and starts playing some creepy-death-tune. Blink is getting severely freaked out and when Jack and David and Les enter he jumps up and runs over to David and begins clinging to him, sobbing hysterically begging for help. David looks disgusted. Jack tosses Les onto his bunk and grabs Blink's collar and lifts him off his feet. Blink's one eye widens in fear.

Blink: Wha-What are you going to do to me?

Jack: *grins evilly*

Racetrack: *music gets louder and more evil*

Jack: David… can I get a hand?

They switch Blink's eye patch to the other eye so he cannot see they tie his hands behind his back and his ankles together then they strip him of all his clothes and drag him outside. Blink is protesting horrendously the whole way as they carry him all the way to the Brooklyn Bridge (ignoring the appalled looks of passersby and the terrified shrieks of the haughty women) and toss him over the side. Racetrack has followed them the entire way continuously playing his evil-death song.

Jack: SPOT!!!

Spot: Now whatdaya want?

Jack: *points to the slowly drowning Blink* Make sure he doesn't die.

Jack and David walk calmly away. Racetrack switches to "Seize The Day" and walks after Jack and David.

Spot orders some of his guys to fish Blink out of the water. Then they leave him, still tied up and still naked and still with his eye patch on the wrong eye, on the ground. But Blink manages to drag himself to his hands and knees and crawls after Spot's voice then when he reaches Spot he grabs his clothes.

Spot: *disgusted look* Hands off the goods, maggot.

Blink: *sobs* Help me.

Spot: *whips out knife and cuts bonds* There. *turns to leave*

Blink: *fixes his eye patch and slowly gets to his feet*

Spot: *quick examination* No wonder you don't get any.

Blink: *blushes. He stares at Spot for a moment then turns and runs away*

Spot: *shakes head* Poor kid. *walks away*

Blink tries to get back to the House without being seen by too many people, desperately trying to cover himself. He runs into Sarah who is -still- sobbing and is wearing a very low-cut dress. Blink blushes even more and tries quickly to escape, recognizing Sarah, but Sarah grabs his wrists.

Sarah: *whines* Stay with MEEEEE!!!!

Blink: Sarah! Wha-I'm naked!

Sarah: *whines* I don't CAAAAAAARE!!!!!

Blink: *blinks* What are you doing?

Sarah: *whines* I don't cost MUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!

Blink: *suddenly understands* What the *bleep*?!

Suddenly a car drives by with Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs. They both see Blink and Sarah, but don't recognize them.

Mr.: Avert your eyes!

Mrs.: EEE!

Mr.: *floors it to escape the disgusting couple*

Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs reach their home where Les is playing checkers against David. Jack is sitting on the couch giving Les hints.

Mr.: Boys, we're back!

Les jumps to his feet to greet his parents. No trace of his hangover remain. David and Jack welcome the Jacobs home.

Mrs.: Boys, where's Sarah?

Jack and David look at each other.

David: *deep breath* Mother, I have bad news. Sarah… jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge and drowned.

Mr. and Mrs. Stare at each other.

Mr.: *sigh of relief* Finally!

Mrs.: Now dear, that's not polite. We have company.

David: Aw mom, Jack doesn't count as company anymore.

Jack looks up from raiding their fridge and grins.

Mrs.: I suppose you're right.

David: So does this mean I can have my own room?

Mr.: *shrugs* Sure, why not.

David and Jack, whose face is stuffed with cake, whoop and run off to David's new room. Les resumes the checkers game, playing for David, and shouts gleefully when he wins.

*****MEANWHILE*****

Sarah has tackled Blink to the ground. Blink is screaming and people are running away. Blink wrestles Sarah off and now has her arms pinned behind her back and…. Racetrack appears!

Racetrack: Woah. It's about time Blink.

Blink: *startles, and blushing even more, he now resembles a ripe tomato* Wha-What?

Racetrack: Though, I did think that even you could do better than Sarah…

Blink: No! No! It's not what it looks like!

Racetrack: So you didn't just tackle and wrestle Sarah, completely naked…

Blink: No! I mean, yes! I mean, I did, but-but it's not what you think!!

Racetrack: It never is…

Sarah: *STILL sobbing* Blink… you love me, don't you?

Blink: *lets go of Sarah's wrists and jumps back* WHAT?!?!?

Sarah: *crawls over to Blink and grabs his leg.*

Racetrack: *beginning to look scared* Um… I think you should take care of that…

Blink: *looks helplessly at Racetrack* Help me. What should I do?

Sarah: *whines* Love MEEEEEEEEEEE!

Racetrack: *crosses arms over chest* After what you did to Les?

Blink: *completely forgot about Les* What? *thinks* Oh! But…. But that was just a joke! Just a little prank…. I don't deserve THIS! *points at Sarah*

Racetrack: *mulls it over* True, true. *whips out a gun and shoots Sarah through the heart*

Sarah: *gasps* Blink…. I-I-I'm shot! *dies*

Blink: HOORAY!!

Racetrack: Help me toss her body over the Brooklyn Bridge.

Blink: I just got away from there! Can't I get dressed first?"

Racetrack: NO!

Together they carry Sarah's dead and bloody body back to the Brooklyn Bridge and heave her over the side. Racetrack and Blink are covered in blood.

Spot: I don't even want to know.

Racetrack: *shakes his head* Nope. *pulls out gun and shoots Blink in the leg* THAT'S for Les! *runs off waving the gun in the air and screaming: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!*

Blink: Ow. *looks down at his bleeding leg* Spot…

Spot: *throws his hands in the air* I am not getting mixed up in your little Manhattan business. *leaves* *calling over his shoulder* GET OFFA MY BRIDGE!!!!!!

Blink makes his way back to the House, dragging his bad leg behind him. By the time he has reached the House the bleeding has stopped. The others are all sitting on their bunks after a hard days work carrying the banner but are too scared to ask questions when Blink enters bloody and naked. He finally finds his clothes and ties a makeshift bandage around his leg. Racetrack is sitting calmly on his bunk, not showing any signs that he just committed murder (because he -and everyone else- considers it an act of charity) and smoking a (stolen) cigar. Jack comes back form David's house and notices the blood on the floor then high fives Racetrack.

Racetrack: How's Les.

Jack: He's fine. You can't even tell.

Racetrack: *sigh of relief*

**THE END**


End file.
